Helen's Thoughts on Feminism

Taken from Helen's website http://fascinatingwomanhood.net/.

"What is the Fascinating Womanhood Way, and how does it differ from the Feminist Way? Here is a quick review of the basic differences: Feminism centers round claiming rights, whereas FW centers around filling responsibilities, especially those in the home. The feminists want to assure equality of the sexes, whereas FW women want to preserve the differences between the sexes. Feminism teaches women to focus on their needs. FW teaches women to focus on their husband's needs and their family's needs. Feminism promises women a life of freedom and equality. FW promises women a life of love and happiness. Feminism is a self-centered philosophy, whereas FW is an unselfish, giving philosophy. Feminism ignores basic religious principles, such as those taught in the Bible. FW is based on religious principles, supported by the Bible.

It is easy to see why some women become involved with the views of feminism. The words rights, freedom and equality sound so fair and square. They are especially attracted to feminism if these ideas are planted in their minds by their mothers, who hate housework, hate men and urge their daughters to liberate themselves from the chores of the household by seeking careers outside the home. Once out in the world of men they are urged to claim their rights in all areas - equal pay, equal opportunity, equal benefits etc. Naturally, young women exposed to this background are easy targets for feminism. They relate to their ideas and the influences of other young people. If there is no light to guide them in a better direction, they listen to the loud voices of the feminists and think it must be the only way to go."

desire to understand

Hi this is Erin. One of the reasons I read Fascinating Womanhood was for its advice about understanding men. Relationships are difficult! As we have been making this documentary I have been keen to understand what are the real differences between men and women and what makes a relationship work well? I think there's a spectrum - on one end men and women are the same, and on the other end of the spectrum they are very different.  Here's what Fascinating Womanhood says:


Six Characteristics of Men:
1. His need to be accepted at face value.
2. His need for admiration.
3. His sensitive masculine pride.
4. His need for sympathetic understanding. 
5. His need to be No. 1.
6. His need to serve as the guide, protector and provider to feel needed in this role, and to excel women in doing so.


My personal belief is men and women have many similar needs.  I believe people need to be valued and respected. If a woman is giving this kind of attention to her man, then she is most likely to receive it in return.

Fabricating Womanhood

 Hello, it's artist Emily here. I wanted to share some of my work and thoughts with you. In 2010, my final MFA exhibit was entitled, Fabricating Womanhood. It was a spoof off of Helen's book. I wanted to explore some of the ideas in her book, as well as the notions of her time period. Click HERE for images. Here is what I wrote about it in my thesis paper:

 I wanted my final exhibit to be a house because it seemed like the appropriate space to display my work. The house functioned as a metaphor for many things in my life: my messy brain full of questions and contradictions, a relationship that was built then destroyed, a prop to help explain the narrative aspects of my work, a vehicle to help me steer the viewer into the questions and contemplations I was sensing. While the outside of the house, isolated in the dark gallery space looked plain and unadorned; the interior space had the trappings of pleasantries, gay colors, comfortable chairs, pillows, welcoming candy dishes, a genealogy of portraits on the wall, but underneath the comedy, laughing, frilly bows, and pink ruched roses there was a questioning- with a sometimes bitter, cynical, and tragic tone to it.

Making the house was a way for me to explore identity and find catharsis. It was an open-ended exploration of ideas, a way to help me sort out the messages of the media, my parents, and my faith. In all its idealism and glory, the home is the stage for many important events.  It’s where women perform their greatest roles as mothers and homemakers--they have impact and power there. The home is both a cage where monotony and conflict exist as well as a realm where women flourish and prosper, and it is where I learned my first lessons.  

Below are some featured works.

 This is an oil painting of a Barbie Doll. Her arms are up in a surrender pose. I'm not sure if she's happy about that.

  The mothers are instructing their daughters in love and concern, possibly talking about what is going to happen to the daughter’s body- how she is going to mature, and  how she must take responsibility for how she is perceived by men. The etchings depict a process of going from innocence to knowledge and accountability. The young girls are learning how to behave towards others. Here are some suggestions for them:

Men are impressed by softness, curves and bounce. They like a wind-blown look.

-John Robert Powers, The American Magazine, 1946.

If a parent can make a child realize how sweet are the fruits [of abstinence], later in life, of good, clean living in youth, half of the battle will be won. With some natures it is necessary to resort to the psychology of fear in order to bring home this truth, with others simply appealing to their sense of honor and pride is sufficient.

- The Digest of Hygiene for Mother and Daughter, 1947

Keep your mouth clean and your breath sweet. Brush the teeth at least twice a day- nothing is more repellant than a bad odor from the mouth. If you have it persistently you should consult a physician.

- The Digest of Hygiene for Mother and Daughter, 1947

Poise and self confidence are available to any woman. Discover who you really are and where you are going. Develop your own convictions. Have the courage to live by your standards. Enjoy your unique spot in the world.

-The Total Woman, Marabel Morgan, 1973

Fascinating Womanhood and FMH

Feminist Mormon Housewives allowed us space for a blog post on their site. Many thanks to them for their generous support.

Read the comments.  People react strongly to Fascinating Womanhood, on many fronts. This is what our documentary hopes to account for---women who found Helen's books helpful and women who disagree profoundly with her strategies and suggestions.

As for myself, I have read several editions of Helen's book and I have tried to find ideas that are useful. Such as:

• You can't change people.
• You are responsible for you, so be the best person you can be.
• Treat the people in your life with kindness. 

As a wise woman once told me, there's no commandment against common sense.

As for the rest of the book, ambivalence and heartburn abound when I read it. A friend just wrote to me her experience of the book, and I quote from her summary:

"But when you're scared, or overwhelmed, or lonely, or have tons of self-doubt, [the book] is a total siren song.  I think the enduring popularity of this book is really just a monument to how many people do feel scared, overwhelmed, lonely, are crippled with self-doubt, or have a history of abusive relationships and don't know what love actually is.  A monument to sad."

Maxine Hanks Profile

Maxine Hanks is most well-known for her book Women and Authority (1992), a historical review of women's position within the LDS church. Hanks is uniquely situated to comment on Helen's cultural roots who was a Mormon woman who used the opportunities available to her to promote her ideas about gender and marriage.

 Hanks offers a sympathetic perspective on Helen's attempts to be recognized for what she saw as doctrinally accurate strategies in fixing marriages.

At the Movies with Helen

Often at her website, http://fascinatingwomanhood.net/, Helen Andelin referred to movies for examples of FW principles. Below are some of the films she referenced.

Pride and Prejudice (1995, BBC production): Elizabeth's demeanor influences Darcy to give up his pride and her character excites an ardent love in him.
Anna and the King (1999, staring Jodie Foster): Anna knows when and how to be assertive, a virtue that must be balanced with submissiveness.
Woman of the Year (1942): Katherine Hepburn plays a career woman who learns the best thing for her marriage is to give up work outside the home.
Little Lord Fauntleory (1980): A good example that treating a man like the man you want him to be will help him change.
A Star is Born (1954): Judy Garland's career outshines her husband and devastates him, pushing him to suicide. She learns too late that their marriage and his happiness are more important than her success.
The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit (1956): The male protagonist tells his wife of his many exploits during the war, including killing other men and having an affair with another woman. His wife wisely forgives him all.

Holly Welker Profile

Dr. Holly Welker is a writer whose poetry and prose have appeared in publications ranging from
Seventeen to Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought to The New York Times to Best American
Essays.

Read her essay in Bitch Magazine about what she calls the "legacy" of Helen's ideas, most evident in the Twilight series.